1. I think I want to be a CMA at Houston Institute. Not now. Eventually. Can I do this even if I still struggle with the philosophy behind some parts of Institute? Can I do this at all? Things to consider.
2. If I want to survive this upcoming semester/be a real person I need to get my head on straighter. No more constant self-doubt, anxiety, tension, stress, pessimism, etc. It’s not sustainable. This might mean I need to have some difficult conversations with people in my life. but such is being an adult.
3. Deep down, I know that some of the behavior management issues I faced in one particular class near the end of this semester are on me; my lessons were not as well-planned, deep, or engaging as they should have been.
4. I am not just being a crazy perfectionist when I say that. I’ve planned good/deep/engaging lessons before so I know that I can do it. I was just burned out.
5. I’m hiking in Yosemite for spring break (which also happens to fall on my 22nd birthday). Can’t wait to be feelin’ 22 among the mountains.
EDIT, 12 hours later
6. I need to behavior-manage each day the same way I’d behavior-manage if I was being evaluated. A solid 94% of my evaluation-related stress deals with the way my kids react to my teaching, and if I practice the way I want to be evaluated, the stars won’t have to align in some miraculous way for me to get a good score. Things will just go as they always do.